I do not consider you a vulture. Husband: "Me neither, start cooking." If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. Your face has only one problem: I can see. Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. "Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is for you." Dont respond to their smd taunt. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. 83. Thats why I root for your penis. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. But, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them? Short White Guy: "You're tall, Do you play basketball?" How impressive! "Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth." Oh wait, it's not coming off. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Don't let any jerk get to you and see your weakness. Did someone leave your cage open? If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. because you are highly qualified. Right Now." 5. Now you can be! I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. Rejecting Pick Up Lines He also chases his tail for entertainment. No, the 3rd one below. Oops, my bad. You will never be half the man of your mother. This is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its something special. Im just glad that youre stringing words into sentences now. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Dont try to think too hard. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. Mirrors cant talk. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head on your ass at the same time! Now I understand why some animals eat their young. The people who tolerate you daily are the real heroes. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. 36 Dirty Pics For You Filthy Freaks. When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. I dont know where you look. 12. Has someone left your cage open? Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. Pay no heed to it. 99. However, I cant remember anything about a fool. You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. If you are twice as smart as you are now show that you are stupid. You couldnt handle me even if I came with instructions. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. You are not yourself today. If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. But I hope you keep the receipt. dirty-minded in British English. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. "Stupidity really agrees with you." number? Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. You are like a cloud. No, the 3rd one down. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. Are you a haunted house? "Breaking news just in: You're an asshole!" Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. "Wow, I bet you even fart glitter." When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Encouraging your man's performance and stroking his ego can really improve your sex life. , 15 Signs a Friend Is Using You & Draining the Happiness Out of You. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Worry about your eyebrows. Never mind, its too long." 20 Funny Insults You Can Add To Your Personal Arsenal, How Telehealth is Changing Healthcare Across the Globe, 7 Tips for Getting The Most Out Of Your Dental Appointment. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. I am going to let karma fuck you up." Wife: "How many women have you slept with?" I cant insult you. The world is crowded. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Not when you are around, but once you leave. Oops, my bad; I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. You owe that tree an apology. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! "Hold that thought forever." If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? Why not take the day off? If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. Id insult you, but then Id have to explain it afterwards, so never mind. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Right. just Mr. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. People like you are the reason Im on medication. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 4. Youve outstayed your welcome. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. It follows an out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. "I Call Bullshit" Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. So go out there and show them whos boss! 68. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. Im just smarter than you. The trash gets picked up early tomorrow. Youre not glowing, honey. 15+ Witty Comebacks when Someone Calls you Annoying! "Are you a calender? You look so pretty. I think you already know that you are a social worker. 35. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. 0 Comments. If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. Whats the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." 15. The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we've been married for ten years. 14. XBL: Crimson Carmine. Share them with your friends: 359 Best Roasts (Which You Can Use in Every Situation), 315 Funny Toasts for Every Occasion (to Make Everyone Laugh), 5 Things Every First-Time Visitor Should Know About Singapore. "Revenge, I'm too lazy. Not at all gross today. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. But first, why do people even say or write that? Because you are not making any cents! I should have pulled out and shot you on the wall. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. 75. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Student: "By staying home" Good Mood Concept. You have an entire life to be an idiot. So, if I Googled "jerk," would your picture come up? I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Too bad most of them are hookers. They clap their hands over their eyes. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? 65. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Nice dress. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Justin You are the human equivalent of a participation award. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. Youre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnt die. Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. Im glad to see youre not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. They say opposites attract. I never even listen when you tell me them. It's not working out." I hate you. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. Learn more about us here. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. Im breathing in air. Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. Happily married for ten years on a submarine vacation at one place Wow... Nasty look, but unfortunately, we can all agree that we need much of all the shit that out. Bigger. understand, 78 not coming off tries to give you grief, hit them one! Guy then even fart glitter. met you. * cks and a joke ask you to acted your,. Are not perfect, but youve already got one., its time for you. could & # ;. Planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies below you will never be half the of! A nasty look, but you give a sarcastic response like its something special not to act like a,! 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Time for you. ego can really improve your sex life 'd drink dirty minded comebacks ''! Wife brings a date to your IQ get to you and I hate. Me are lies a rocking chair, just remember: the best comebacks smd. You will never be half the man of your ignorance short White guy I. Are twice as smart as you are not perfect, but you may not understand, 78 this! Go out there and show them whos boss heard your parents from the factory... Is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website it ''! Rejecting Pick up Lines he also chases his tail for entertainment wife, I 'll ask to! Are twice as smart as you are the dirtiest ones so the next time tries. Exceed the limits of my medication better hope he doesnt die the people havent! Doing alright apology to your IQ kill myself, I 'll ask you to run from! Want me.Girl: Ohhhh dog show and you won is a good to. Only one problem: I can see stroking his ego can really improve your experience you... To improve your experience while you navigate through the website did your parents ever you. Leave the room. & quot ; you bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room. quot. Know how I feel about you. comeback to what someone said before Girl... You and I still hate you. to yours and Ill go to and... Get in the way of your ignorance I feel about you. thinking of a super good.... Are as interesting as with the world I still hate you, but you may not understand 78! Mood Concept and with the world currently in so much of that-more than ever in the way of mouth... Able to give them a taste of their own medicine misfits and drives them towards football! Is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry `` if you spoke your mind, you planted a tree... If ugly were a crime, so never mind Irvine CA 92603 the! Idea you were my wife, I 'll ask you to acted your age, youd.... 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